---edit: DUDE I totally give up with trying to format these comments so they're not here----
So today I finally read my college essay to my honors English class.
Wow.
I don't really remember honors being like this but that's what you get for being in a lot of APs. Sometimes I just don't realize how stupid a lot of people are.
For Michelle's essay they were saying that it was "thesaurus-y", as in, it sounded like she used a thesaurus excessively. Errr . . . I didn't notice any words I didn't know or wouldn't use normally.
Then they were saying that they thought Lauren sounded like she had an imaginary friend in hers. Um. No. It clearly stated that she was her cousin and that she was imagining her not that she was imaginary.
Gah. Oh man. And their essays! How do people get like this?
Ah, back to my conversation earlier today. Parenting.
Ugh. I wish evolution was a quicker process sometimes. Hooray for the Darwin Awards!
Well anyways, here was my essay:
I descend the white stairs of the old orchestra room at my school (they're smaller and curvier than usually seen, but that seems usual here) to a sandless beach of stones. I swim in the saltless, cool, clear ocean. Under violet and aqua waterfalls I see a friend who I briefly swim with, then I return to the shore. I hold my violin, and, standing barefoot in the warm stones, I begin an enchanting melody. I feel the music echo the surreal water, but it is running through me and around me and it lifts me from my body when I wake with Vaughan William's Tallis Fantasia in my mind. When the light is streaming through the windows onto my face everything is beautiful. Feathers of the dream float in the hypnagogic state and they fade when I am brought to a fuller consciousness by my analysis of them.
Last night . . . was a concert. I try again as I did in the dream to feel that euphoria by music that was last night, the gold and the white, the rush, I am the music and it is me, the expansion, the lifting from my body, the water. And I nearly do - being abruptly interrupted by the noticing of the body that I am within. That is not me. Why am I here? What is this? I feel disgusted and bring myself back to the thoughts of the dream. I need to feel myself in my body. I am nearly tearful but with the light streams and the dream pieces nothing can be wrong.
I tenderly approach this subject in my thoughts. I am gender neutral, and, someday, I will have my body. I will have my name and I will be recognized. Thinking of this, I can almost replace the incorrect body with the right one. I will make it happen. How much have I done already? I got my bathroom in school, I wear my binder, my friends and family know who I am. It is incomplete, and it will go further. So few know of anything beyond male and female, and when there is so little information on it, how will they? I want to change this. I will change this.
Listening to the music in my mind, I stand and find my violin. In the light, I begin to warm up for practice, determined to improve and excited for the next performance.
edit @ 4 Nov 2008 13:38:12 by dalsegno